10 Hilarious things about breastfeeding:

1. Milk Face

There will be a time when your milk is flowing and for whatever reason they decide to unlatch and by consequence get a face full of milk.  It’s in the eye, it’s in their nose, in their hair.. just everywhere, and it will be the cutest funniest thing you’ll see all day.

2. Ready, Aim, Shoot!

Along the same lines as your baby getting a face full of milk is the boob that can shoot breast milk across the room.  Engorgement can be pretty uncomfortable, but your milk spraying so hard that it reaches the other side of the room can be pretty funny.  Your partner will most likely get a total kick of this (at least mine did).

3. Hickey anyone?

I got a hickey once or twice in grade school while necking in the locker bin after homeroom or under the bleachers during a football game, but never would I have thought that I would get a hickey from my baby!  But in the perfect storm of bed sharing and exhaustion on both our parts it’s apparently bound to happen.  One night, her aim was a little off and neither one of us cared.  Let’s just say I can’t sport a low cut shirt for a while without people asking questions.

4. Bobble Head

I don’t know why this cracked me up so much.  But that stage when the baby is just starting to get control of their head and looking for the boob just reminds me of a bobble head.  I would just laugh so hard as she latched on.  It was just too darn cute!

5.  Are they still in there??

As Maddy gets older she gets cuter and cuter about nursing.  She will sometimes come over to me to open my shirt, look inside and walk away, as if to just check on them.  Where does she think they’ll go?!

6. Kisses!

Maddy is about 14mo’s old now and is learning to show affection.  Well her favorite thing to do is nurse, and to her that is showing affection to her momma.  What she is still learning is that showing affection to others is a little bit different.  So for her a big, open, wet kiss is what the boobies get, so everyone else that she loves gets the same thing!  It’s a little awkward in the kissing department right now.  We’re working on it.. 🙂

7.  But why don’t Daddy’s work the same way?!

Maddy will pull out his shirt and look inside to show she wants to nurse.  He immediately hands her to me with this face of yup, that doesn’t work that way!  I laugh and take her to nurse.  Now that she’s older she knows she is just communicating her need, but when she was younger she would peck on him (you’re picturing a bobble head now, right?!).  It was so funny seeing his face!

8.  Ok, they still work.  See ya!

Just like I mentioned above, Maddy will check on her boobies to make sure they didn’t go anywhere.  Well lately she’s been making sure the tap is still in working order too!  She will walk up to me and sign milk, so I pick her up and nurse her.  My let down takes a minute and always has.  She’s pretty good about being patient with it.  We get comfortable and she promotes the let down.  Just as I’m getting comfortable and the milk starts flowing she pops off and runs to play!  She looks back at me and smiles.  It’s like she’s thinking, “Cool, they’re still there and they still work!  Just wanted to be sure, thanks Mom!”  “No problem, kid.  Thanks for the full boobs!  What am I supposed to do with this now?!”

9.  No, I don’t need my nose picked, but thanks!

Maddy will play when she’s eating sometimes, which I don’t mind, as long as she’s not hurting me.  Sometimes she will ask me what each thing is, “Ear, Nose, Eye”  I will ask her “Fingers?” She puts her hands up and wiggles her fingers, etc. Lately when I she points to my nose, she just picks it!  Like all up in there!  And her little finger is too quick for me to get it sometimes.  Ok maybe this one belongs on a gross list, but I still think it’s pretty funny.  Picking ears has been known to happen too..

10.  Now that’s some good stuff right there!

The last thing that I think is the BEST, most hilarious, most rewarding thing about breastfeeding is that reaction of pure satisfaction from my LO.

That moment she pops off after the most perfect feeding, so completely milk drunk that she can’t even open her eyes.

That moment she pops off just for a second to smile so big that her face might explode with joy only to pop right back on with her milk face to finish eating.

That moment of pure extacy that is displayed on their little face.

That right there is just the best.