With a fever of 104 the urgent care center sent me straight to the ER a couple months ago.

Mastitis.

I cried because I felt THAT BAD, and called my husband to tell him that if he didn’t come to get me they’d need to call an ambulance.

He was there in less than ten minutes.

The ER doctors got me in right away (in ER world anyway) and gave me a hand pump, fluids, and took some blood to test my level of infection.  As the bloody milk dripped into the bottle my husband sat next to me trying to hide his weak stomach.

“I’m doing this for her.  This is worth it,” I thought to myself as the pain radiated from my breast and made my stomach queasy.  The doctor came back with the blood test results.

Borderline septic.

They pushed another bag of fluids and antibiotics into me and another dose of Tylenol since my fever was creeping back up.  After they got my levels back to normal and my fever was under control they sent me on my way.

So how the f%#* did I get here?!  This blog is supposed to help fellow mamas have a successful breastfeeding relationship with their little one, and this my friends is not what success felt like.  Hooked up to a hospital bed feeling like garbage and squeezing blood out of your tit is NOT success.  Or so I thought as I laid there feeling SO pissed at myself for letting this all happen.

The fact is, I am successful.  I have been mothering through breastfeeding and practicing gentle parenting since day one.  My baby girl is confident and satisfied with what we have.  So much so that she has decided to well, NOT have it as often.

Weaning.

My little babe is about 21 months by this point and has decided that she doesn’t need to finish her boob full of milk before she falls asleep anymore.  All is fine right? “Just let nature take it’s course, your body will know what to do,” I thought.

In most cases that might be true, but to just be complacent as I was is dangerous.  So I tell you, sweet mamma’s out there with babes that are still on the boob but maybe not so much lately…

TOUCH YOURSELF!

After each feeding massage your breasts to make sure there are no lumps.  In the shower after a long day, massage your breasts.  Massage them deep in the breast tissue to make sure there are no lumps hiding.  While they are nursing, massage and help the milk to empty.  If you feel a lump, even if it’s small, GET. IT. OUT.  Even if it’s only once at the end of the day in the shower, massage and express just enough to make your boob smooth again if you feel anything.

This is where I went wrong.  I was arrogant and just expected my body to do it’s job and end production as needed, and for the most part it does.  But I also tend to stay on one side when I nurse and I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching.  So all the milk was pooling on my left side under my arm pit.  It stayed there for long enough to get infected and, well, you know the rest.

So to all my fellow mamas doing the damn thing – keep on keepin on, and just remember to give yourself a check-in at the end of the day to make sure all is well.